This meditation is designed to help us cultivate a sense of sympathy. See what self-compassion is as a type of meditation. Having a strong sense of feeling brings all kinds of benefits, not just for others but also for ourselves.
Helping others gives a sense of meaning and joy to our lives in a more durable way than most of the traditional things we pursue in modern-day living.
Such as money or consumer goods, which only give us short-term highs. This meditation is more traditionally called ‘Loving Kindness’ meditation.
But unfortunately, the word ‘love’ has taken on all kinds of baggage that non-religious, non-hippy people tend to find uncomfortable.
The meditation works by taking you through a structured process of generating feelings of sympathy for yourself. Then there are people with whom it’s easy to feel sympathy for those with whom it might be more difficult.
Self-compassion is A Type of Meditation
Like any skill, this is a practice that makes us better at feeling, and the idea is that these sympathy feelings. What we cultivate during meditation will carry over into our everyday lives.
Don’t get too excited; you’re not going to turn into Mother Teresa overnight. Slowly, over time, you will find it easier to see other's points of view.
Often, you will be able to deal with difficult people in a way that is better for you and them. Another important thing to note is that this is not a ‘prayer from a distance.
When we call up these feelings of sympathy, it is to change something within ourselves. Merely thinking about someone doesn't imply we magically bring change to their life; actions and intentions manifest transformation.
Preparing Physically for Meditation
As with all meditations, it’s important to feel comfortable and stable. If you’re twisting yourself into the lotus position and are in agony within minutes, then you’re losing the plot.
Our recommendation for new meditators is to sit on a chair with your feet flat on the ground and your legs at right angles (use cushions to get the right distances).
Your hands are resting on your knees, and your back is straight—not leaning on the back of the chair. If you want to try some of the other postures, you can read about them elsewhere on the site.
Breathing Out to Release Thoughts
Once comfortably seated, close your eyes (or keep them open if you prefer) and take three slow, deep breaths, in through the nose and out through pursed lips.
With each out-breath, try to release any thoughts of the day (things you've done or will do later) and any other thoughts that are flying around your mind. Don’t worry if they won’t go; that’s normal.
Feeling Compassion
Before you can start to feel sympathy for others, you have to feel sympathy for yourself. This means that you neither think of yourself as useless nor superior.
You accept that you are a person with good traits and less desirable ones, and good days and bad days. Try to feel a sense of self-compassion for yourself, and it might be useful to repeat these phrases to generate this sense:
- May I be happy?
- May I be healthy?
- May I be safe?
- May I be at peace?
Try to feel the things you’re thinking, and think about how each one physically feels as you think it.
Feeling Sympathy for Loved Ones
We start our sympathy cultivation with some easy targets. Bring to mind someone you love a lot—a close friend or family member.
Consider how it feels physically as you bring them to mind. Keeping them in mind, mentally say the following phrases:
- May you be happy?
- May you be healthy?
- May you be safe?
- May you be at peace?
Repeat this (self-compassion is a type of meditation) for a few people with whom you have deep affection.
Feeling Sympathy for Those You are Indifferent to
Next, we move on to cultivating feelings of sympathy for people we feel indifferent to. These may be people on the bus or in cars on the road with us.
It may be the postman, our neighbors, or anyone whom we see but have no particular feelings about either way. Bring one of these people to mind and mentally repeat the following phrases:
- May you be happy?
- May you be healthy?
- May you be safe?
- May you be at peace?
Repeat this (self-compassion is a type of meditation) for a few other people with whom you have indifferent feelings.
Feeling Sympathy for Those Who Have Some Difficulty with You
Finally, we move on to cultivating feelings of sympathy for people with whom we may have some negative feelings. This is the hardest part of meditation, and we must be careful with it.
When bringing to mind people with whom we have problems, it is very easy to get caught up in the angry or self-righteous feelings we associate with encounters with them.
If this happens, it's best to take a step back and work on loved ones or people we are indifferent to until we are a bit stronger.
It’s not a good idea to start with people with whom we have big problems. It's simply too difficult until we have improved our skills and equanimity.
Conclusion
So, instead, begin with someone with whom you have very slight negative feelings. But not someone you feel has deeply wronged you. Mentally repeat the following phrases:
- May you be happy?
- May you be healthy?
- May you be safe?
- May you be at peace?
Depending on how easily you found this, you can try to repeat it with other people you have small issues with, or simply move on.
This self-compassion is a type of meditation to strengthen and mentally bind the feelings of self-compassion. It is good to end with a positive feeling for a loved one.
COMMENTS